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Review: Going the Distance Doesn't Quite

Drew Barrymore, Justin Long, Going The DistanceReview in a Hurry: Bicoastal curious? Then you might get off on this uneven romantic comedy, which flings its young lovers—after their fling—to opposite sides of the country. As a...


Review: Lohan! De Niro! Beheadings! Machete!

Machete, Danny TrejoReview in a Hurry: Badass character actor Danny Trejo finally gets to topline an action movie courtesy of his pal Robert Rodriguez. And, to be kind, let's just say we find out why he's...


Review: The American Basically a George Clooney Coffee-Table Book

The AmericanReview in a Hurry: If you like beautifully composed, static shots of George Clooney being kinda quiet in Italy, this is your movie. If you were hoping for much else, it ain't. The...


Review: The Last Exorcism's Comedy-Horror Schizm

Ashley Bell, Patrick Fabian, Louis Herthum, Caleb Landry Jones, The Last ExorcistReview in a Hurry: A nasty spirit may (or may not) be causing all sorts of schizophrenic mayhem on numerous Linda Blair wannabes. But producer Eli Roth's The Last Exorcism doesn't...


Review: Takers Almost a Good Little Heist Movie

Hayden Christensen, Idris Elba, TakersReview in a Hurry: A well-rounded cast of character actors (plus Paul Walker) tries to pull off a big robbery while obnoxious alcoholic cop Matt Dillon attempts to stop them. Very nearly a good...


Review: Piranha 3D Is Campy, Bloody, Horny Fun

Ving Rhames, Piranha 3DReview in a Hurry: A cast of familiar faces dives headfirst into waters infested with prehistoric predators and screaming coeds. And it's Elisabeth Shue and Ving Rhames to the rescue in this...


Review: Lottery Ticket Can't Overcome Stale Clichés

Bow Wow, Lottery TicketReview in a Hurry: On the surface it's a goofy caper about a kid who hits the jackpot, but just underneath is a gritty movie about the mean streets. The flip-flop in tone can be awkward, but...


Review: Nanny McPhee Returns With Great Cast, Kids

Maggie Gyllenhaal, Nanny McPhee ReturnsReview in a Hurry: The surprise hit from across the pond is back with more plot but less Nanny. Writer/star Emma Thompson hopes you won't notice, by enlisting Maggie Gyllenhaal, Ralph Fiennes...


Review: The Switch Better Than Most Bad Jennifer Aniston Movies

Jennifer Aniston, Jason Bateman, The SwitchReview in a Hurry: For a movie that's supposed to be filled with sympathetic, lonely people, it's tough to care whether Wally (Jason Bateman) and Kassie (Jennifer Aniston) hook up in the...


Review: Vampires Suck Even Worse Than Twilight

Matt Lanter, Vampires SuckReview in a Hurry: From the comic "geniuses" who gave us Date Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans...'Nuff said? Now writer-directors Jason Friedberg & Aaron...


Review: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World Totally Geeky, Totally Kick Ass

Michael Cera, Scott Pilgrim vs. the WorldReview in a Hurry: A fun, frenetic, video-game-flavored comedy that racks up the bonus points through a snappy script, savvy casting and smart use of pop references that only occasionally go too...


Review: Eat Pray Love? More Like Sit Stare Yawn

Julia Roberts, Eat, Pray, LoveReview in a Hurry: There are fanatics of Elizabeth Gilbert's best-seller who are going to love this Julia Roberts movie no matter what—when, in fact, most of what made the book connect...


Review: The Expendables Packs the Ultimate Adrenaline Shot for Summer

Jason Statham, Sylvester Stallone, The ExpendablesReview in a Hurry: The ultimate fanboy mashup! Sylvester Stallone and Jason Statham lead a team of action adventure all stars. Peppered with funny dialogue, epic brawls and supersize explosions,...


Review: The Other Guys So Funny It Should Get Arrested! For Being Funny!

Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, The Other GuysReview in a Hurry: Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg milk dry their default movie personas, but it's all part of the joke—and what a great joke it is. Sending up by-the-books buddy cop...


Review: Step Up 3D a High-Energy, Pop-Locking Good Time

Rick Malambri, Sharni Vinson, Step Up 3DReview in a Hurry: The Step Up franchise jumps off the big screen in 3-D. The acting and the story can just step off since the dance battles impress and the 3-D is the best since...


Review: Flipped Just Like Puppy Love—Sweet but Not Much Substance

Madeline Carroll, Callan McAuliffe, FlippedReview in a Hurry: This coming-of-age rom-com from director Rob Reiner (When Harry Met Sally, Stand by Me) charts the on-again, off-again crush between two tween neighbors. Will you like it?...


Review: Charlie St. Cloud a Smart, Cliché-Free Tearjerker

Zac Efron, Charlie St. CloudReview in a Hurry: Sort of a Sixth Sense without that freaky, scary feel, Charlie St. Cloud is a well-crafted tearjerker with a grown-up performance from Zac Efron. If you don't mind risking...


Review: Dinner for Schmucks an Awkward Dinner Party You Can Skip

Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, Dinner for SchmucksReview in a Hurry: Paul Rudd and Steve Carell reteam for their third outing (40 Year Old Virgin, Anchorman), a remake of the French farce The Dinner Game, about a smart guy who gets in over his...


Review: Ramona and Beezus a Wise and Whimsical Good Time

Selena Gomez, Joey King, Ramona and BeezusReview in a Hurry: Ramona and Beezus is really more about Ramona, but since star Selena Gomez plays Beezus, her marquee mention must have been a requirement from the suits in the corner...


Review: Salt a Flavorless, Muddled Mess

Angelina Jolie, SaltReview in a Hurry: You'd hope an action thriller called Salt might at least have some kick to it and raise your blood pressure a bit. But this muddle, starring Angelina Jolie as a maybe,...


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Cinema Blend Movie Reviews

Going the Distance

Going the Distance is by no means perfect, but it's light years beyond the average rom-com, bracingly honest and genuinely funny about the ups and downs of relationships. Barrymore and Long, once a real-life couple and now who-knows-what, have a real chemistry that complements their well-written, realistic characters, and even when the movie falls apart around them in the third act, we root for these two crazy kids and their shot at romance

Machete

Machete is a movie specializing in the ridiculous and the insane and the more insane it gets the more fun you’ll have, in large part thanks to Robert Rodriguez who is so good at this genre that he should never be allowed to direct anything that isn't a grindhouse movie ever again, and in part thanks to the cast which is, unexpectedly, a dream come true. Michelle Rodriguez looks better than she’s ever looked, Steven Seagal has a blast with a killer swordplay ending, and Danny Trejo grunts his way one step closer to becoming an action movie icon. Machete’s politics are a cringe-worthy mess but when it comes to over-the-top fun his blade is razor sharp.

The American

Director Anton Corbijn is not afraid to bore his audience in what's essentially a character study about a career assassin, and while he and Clooney happen upon some striking visuals and dig up a few interesting ideas, the flashy visuals tend to say a lot more than the story itself.

The Winning Season

Set in suburban Indiana, the film stars Rockwell as Bill Greaves, an adult misfit recruited by the local high school principal (Corddry) to coach the school’s floundering girls’ basketball team. Initially retreating from what appears to be a hopeless situation, Bill perseveres and manages to help the team and its captain (Roberts) ratchet up its competitive spirit, while the girls offer Bill a renewed life focus. THE WINNING SEASON also stars Shareeka Epps, Emily Rios and Margo Martindale.

The Last Exorcism

An exorcism movie that's well aware of the horror history that comes before it, The Last Exorcism takes a canny approach to its tale of malevolent spirits and haunted houses by pretending it doesn't believe in any of that junk at all.

Takers

Takers is the logical result of watching Heat over and over and over until your brain burns out, and then wondering what it would look like if the whole thing were remade as a Smirnoff Vodka commercial.

Get Low

All the great films have a certain detachment about them. They don’t manipulate their characters so much as trust them enough to live. Get Low is set in the past, in a town where the people aren’t in a hurry to die. They don’t walk so much as amble, tell stories so much as confess long-winded anecdotes. Felix wants to do things at his own pace. He wants to tell his secret on his time, when he’s ready, if he ever will be. Get Low has the confidence to let him.

Piranha 3D

Piranhas, like mastadons, like wildebeasts and sometimes like boozed-up college kids on spring break are ludicrous pack-traveling creatures who seem to lack long-term goals. They exist only in the moment to satisfy the most basic of human desires. This strikes me as a bad strategy for planning one’s retirement but a totally reasonable way to spend a Saturday night.

The Switch

An unmarried 40-year-old woman turns to a turkey baster in order to become pregnant. Seven years later, she reunites with her best friend, who has been living with a secret: he replaced her preferred sperm sample with his own.

Lottery Ticket

Lottery Ticket begins with the kind of plot that mad-cap comedies are made of: a whole lot of money appears out of thin air and a group of people will do anything to get their hands on it. It’s a formula which has worked for some and not at all for others. Lottery ticket falls into the not at all category.

Vampires Suck

Vampires Suck is the latest in a long line of cheaply produced, minimum effort parody movies. In fact it’s the fifth just directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. In recent years the Hollywood mockery machine has tackled horror movies, superhero movies, teen movies, romance movies, and they’ve even parodied vampire movies before too. But this one, it’s the best of the bunch. Not because it’s good, but because it’s only unbelievably boring while all the others have been unbearably irritating.

Winter's Bone

The highest triumph of Winter’s Bone is not its acting, which is great, nor it’s acute script, written in part by director Debra Granik and Anne Rosellin, a script that is adapted from the book of the same title that is also great. It’s highest triumph is a movie that cost only two million dollars to produce, meaning most of the budget went into quality of film. Meaning that actors worked the grind. But also meaning that a woman mostly known for playing a silly prostitute is here able to stifle a roomful of people and steal her scenes. A young fairly unknown actress makes a roomful of people cry. Scenes where children play, unaware of their problems, break up the film, giving it blissful moments of reprieve. Its not a miracle, it’s hard work, and it’s proof that great movies can still be made without having to lure people in with 3D technology and CGI green screen shots

Nanny McPhee Returns

In Nanny McPhee Returns, Oscar-winning actress and screenwriter Emma Thompson returns to the role of the magical nanny who appears when she's needed the most and wanted the least in the next chapter of the hilarious and heartwarming fable that has enchanted children around the world.

The Expendables

The beauty of good B-movies was always that they were efficient, putting together a tight plot that included as many action scenes as possible and never bothered with actor egos or, well, acting. The Expendables, though, is a bloated mess, a bunch of guys past their prime punching and kicking each other and pretending its for our benefit, when its really just one last self-congratulatory hurrah.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Scott Pilgrim vs the World is a disorganized mess. It’s an overly ambitious, poorly thought out, complete and utter failure made by and populated with talented people who should have known better. Watching it, I was struck by how much it reminded me of Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back, except that, as much as Kevin Smith seemed to realize he was poking fun at and laughing with the slacker generation he helped give voice to, Scott Pilgrim Vs The World hasn’t the slightest idea its main character is a pathetic buffoon.
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